Wednesday, December 5, 2012

so this is bedtime, and what have we done?

tonight has possibly been the most atrocious night as far as bedtime goes in the history of the world as we know it. 
maybe it's just because i'm hungry and therefore more irritable.
we arrive home late because mommy has class until 9:30 and can't pick up the boys until after then.
so we're home around ten.
plan for arrival home is as follows: brush teeth and go to bed.
so unbelievably simple a four year old could do it.
oh wait, no he can't. 
neither can his two and a half year old brother.
the past hour went as follows:
(liam is in italics. van is in bold. mommy is regular)

i can't brush my teeth unless i'm standing on the toilet seat.
liam is on the toilet seat, use the step-stool.
but i can't use the step-stool it's too cold.
it is not.
mommy i want cars toothpaste.
yes it is!
yes liam i'll get you your toothpaste please move your arms out of the sink so your jammies don't get wet.
fine donovan mommy will brush your teeth for you. stand up.
i caaaaaan't.
i brush my teeth mommy! cheeeeese!
van stand up right now. one...two...

[all are in is done...oh wait, no. no it's not.]

mommy i need to go potty.
me too mommy i need to go potty.
you just went at grandma's before we came home.
but i neeeeeed to.
okay van you go first.
liam won't leave the bathroom.
but i need to go potty!
liam you will go after donovan get out of the bathroom.
van are you all done?
okay get back in bed.
but i need liam.
you do not he will be right there.
mommy i need your help.
yes i know liam i'll be right there. donovan get in bed.
i can't.
yes you can.
my covers are in the way.
move them.
but i caaaan't.
well you should probably try a little bit harder. i know you can.
mommy i need to go potty.
yes liam let's go in the bathroom.
but i need you to help me get in bed!
i need you to get in bed by yourself, donovan, mommy is helping liam go potty.
okay liam go potty.
you go potty.
no liam mommy doesn't need to go potty, you do. 
you go potty.
liam stop touching that and just go potty.
eeehheeeehhheh you go potty.
focus, liam. think about potty.
mommmmmmyyyyy i can't do it.
you go potty.
just go potty so we can get your jammies back on.
van, you know how to get in bed.
they're too heavy!
you move them by yourself all of the time, you can do this.
toilet paper!
no liam don't touch that.
spin, spin, spin.
liam i said don't touch that. just go potty.
i go potty!
mommy liam is playing.
thank you donovan i'll deal with it stop tattling on your brother.
moooommmyyyy why are you not dealing with it??

so on and so forth. 
liam is still talking to himself in his bed and van is telling him to shush but we've made it to bed at least and mommy is on the couch and has a bag of chips and some bacon cheddar ranch dip from trader joe's and an episode of revenge that's just asking to be watched.


  1. oh my goodness. that is one frustrating night for mommy! favorite part: "they're too heavy!" I am so glad that I got to see them 2 weeks ago!

  2. Oh my, sometimes children are just so sweet ;). When my little man has moments like that, all I can think to myself is, "he's lucky he's so cute"!