Tuesday, October 30, 2012

the shoe debacle.

why yes, oh-so-helpful-and-friendly target employee, my son is running around your store barefoot.
yes, i am aware that this is a public facility.
no, we do not belong to any sort of elitist group that prohibits the wearing of shoes to better unite ourselves with mother earth.
and yes, that's right, the floor is probably hideously dirty not to mention the possible sharp object looming nearby.
no, no, he has plenty of pairs of shoes at home--in fact, one of those perfectly functional pairs made the trip with us today.
where are they?
oh, silly goose, they're in the car, of course!
well, it's this little thing i like to call picking your battles.
before engaging in combat, one must first assess the value of such an operation. 
i like to ask myself a series of questions, as in the case of the shoe debacle:
one: will the absence of shoes put my child in danger? (see sub-questions)
       a. will we be hiking in a pine-needly forest?
       b. will we be walking on hot coals or some such toasty surface?
       c. is the presence of broken glass, splintery objects, etc a likelihood?
                i. if situation arises, ability to carry child until clear of danger?
       d. will we be entering any areas prone to infectious diseases on their floors?
two: is my child going to be receiving a bath that evening?
three: will my child suddenly become power-hungry and view this victory as fuel for an overthrow in the future?
four: do i have a massive headache from all of the previous battles heretofore engaged in so far today?

this inter-cranial checklist can be performed in a remarkably speedy fashion once you've practiced it several times in the field.
when i've answered these questions (no, yes, no-but check toy box for possible takeover plans just in case, and jesusmaryandjoseph yes)
the consensus is "fine, but if your feet hurt, i told you so."
there are many ways in which this question and answer system can work for you in a potential battle situation. for example:
matching clothes
sleeping with hordes of stuffed animals.
matching shoes.
really anything to do with matching.
using the blue crayon vs. red even though the directions say RED crayon (please see next field instruction manual on "what to do when you're an ocd mommy").

i hope that installment of the question and answer system can aid you in your parenting success.
or at least help keep you sane.


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  2. which son was it? we are at the stage where Nolan is walking and wanting to grab things off the shelves. and he is too little to understand why he can't play with those things, or why he can't eat the yogurt or the banana that I just put in the cart :( tricky! keep blogging, funny girl!

    1. it was liam!! he was very anti-shoes that day. i know exactly what stage you're talking about! he's not quite old enough to understand "hey leave that alone" or "you'll get it later" haha frustrating!! :)