the magic box and boundary shortcomings.

There is one thing that I find absolutely mystifying.
Well, there are lots of things actually.
ANYWHO.
You know how your kids just can't leave you alone when you go into the bathroom?
What is that all about??
It's like they think the bathroom is this magical box filled with wonder and possibility.
"What are you doing mommy?"
Well, son, there are a limited number of answers for that question and I'd like you to use your savvy powers of deduction to figure that one out.
Here's a quick and easy guide:
Am I on the toilet? Possibilities: Going to the bathroom.
Am I holding a toothbrush? Possibilities: Brushing my teeth.
Am I naked? Possibilities: Showering. Or having a naked dance party.
I don't understand how I could be in a room with them for hours on end and they hardly pay any attention to me, but the second they hear the door close to the bathroom they feel the immediate need to investigate.
"Mommy went to the bathroom! We better go make sure she didn't disappear into a portal to another realm!"
Sometimes Donovan likes to lecture me on who in the family goes potty sitting down and who stands up (i.e. "Daddy goes potty standing up, Liam goes potty in his diaper, Mommy you go potty sitting down because you're a girl, Pa-Pa goes potty standing up, I go potty standing up because I'm a big boy" so on and so forth).
Come to think of it Donovan likes to lecture me on quite a few things.
Why he's playing with the red car instead of the blue car.
Who is the biggest tooter in the family.
His pooping experience.
Liam's recent intestinal activity.
A lot of his interests revolve around bodily functions.
Back to the bathroom thing.
People wonder why I so lack that boundary that dictates appropriate/inappropriate exposure/topics among friends and it relates directly back to the level of privacy I receive at home.
I recently read a blog that talked about how many things she did naked as a mom.
It couldn't have been more true.
The phrase "Hold on please mommy needs to get some clothes on" rarely works on toddlers. 
Although Van is at the age where he responds "Oh, you need to get dressed? 'Cause you're naked?"
Plus, the fight to get them to hold their horses is usually longer than it would take for you to just grab the car from under the refrigerator or save a stuffed animal from behind the bed or settle a quarrel among brothers. 
My children aren't the only ones who strip me of my privacy.
Our cats also frequently join me in the bathroom to sit on the counter while I'm sitting on the toilet and just purr and rub their head back and forth in my face.
Like I sat down specifically to allow for an optimal cuddling experience.
I'm sure many more moms can relate to this: I don't even shut the door anymore. 
The gesture is entirely futile.
It will be opened in a matter of minutes by either child inquiring after the efficiency of my bladder.
(i.e. "You almost done going potty mommy?")

I should probably bite my tongue.
In a few years I'm going to be writing a tearful post about how my children can only think to go "ewww" when they come across mommy in anything other than full body armor.

Motherhood is such a teeter-totter.

thank you for your judgment.

You know what just makes me furious??
When my kid runs in front of your cart at the store and instead of saying "Whoops!" and smiling sweetly down at my perfect son (silently thanking your lucky stars you didn't possibly maim this beautiful, innocent, playful child), you give an exasperated roll of your eyes and completely ignore us while maneuvering your cart to child-free territory.
You know what makes me even more furious???
When you've got your own teenage kids walking with you.
When you've clearly had to raise children yourself.
When, after about ten years toddler free, you decided to adopt a "holier-than-thou" attitude towards mothers of today with small children.
Oh, I'm sorry, did you never have to go to the store with them when they were little? Were you so organized and on-top-of-it to have a perfectly arranged lifestyle in which there was always someone to watch your children so you could go peruse the aisles of the glory that is Target all by yourself? You must be one lucky lady to have been so blessed during your lifetime that you never had to corral rambunctious toddlers/preschoolers through aisle after aisle of grab-able, brightly colored, tot-sized objects repeating the words "no" and "don't touch that" and "put it back" so many times you feel like a robot instead of a person.
And don't even give me that "there's-a-seat-in-the-cart-for-a-reason" look, lady, because believe me, I've tried that seat and if we were still using that method you'd be giving me the "your-child-is-screaming-and-disrupting-my-shopping-environment" look instead.
It's true, I never wanted to be that mom.
I never wanted to be the one running from aisle to aisle trying to find the missing toddler only to discover him playing fortress behind the stacks of toilet paper.
I always thought "How come these moms can't keep it together?"
So as a woman with a history of snobbish attitudes towards disheveled moms prior to my own initiation into the wonderful world of parenting I could understand how people who have never had children or don't have children yet could give me a disapproving glance.
What I find, however, is that most often I get these looks from other mothers.
Why do we always think we've got the market cornered on successful parenting?
Why are we so rude to each other sometimes?
Of all people we should be besties, not judgmental meanies.
Come on, people.
Spread the love.
Or something.

valentine's door decor.

As of yet I haven't come up with a witty, clever rant of any kind to blog about. I'm apparently not cut out for this. But, as it happens, I've started an insane crafting/diy habit (thanks a lot pinterest) and have another one of my valentine creations to showcase.
I am a huge fan of those over-sized door decorations in basic shapes. I recently started making my own out of foam core and assorted paper. I decided to get a little creative with the Valentine's heart and use a mosaic-like effect. Here's the end result:

It looks a little off-kilter shape-wise due to the fact that it was bending forward a little bit. I couldn't believe how much I actually liked the final product (sometimes I come to hate my so-called "genius" ideas). And it was possibly easier than any other door-hanger I've made.

Supplies:
1 piece of foam core board (I usually grab mine at Michael's, they often have sales on it)
4 different scrapbook size pieces of paper (I recommend 3 solid, 1 pattern)
Elmer's Glue
Water
Medium-Sized Foam Brush
Yarn (I just used some I had left over from a scarf I had knitted for Christmas)
Hot Glue Gun

1. Mix equal parts glue and water in a serving sized bowl (amount may vary due to how big your piece is). This will be your "mod podge" to adhere the scraps of paper to your foam core.
2. Draw and then cut out (an exacto/utility knife works best) your heart on the sheet of foam core. I made my heart as big as I could on one sheet of foam core, so as long as yours fits on one piece, you will have enough paper to cover the whole thing.
3. Tear all of your paper up into scraps (all different shapes but relatively the same size is how I made mine).
4. Start gluing!! Just brush some of your glue mixture onto the foam core heart(I started top left) and stick the pieces of paper to the board. After they're in place, put another layer of glue mixture on top to "seal" it on there. You don't have to have a "pattern" or anything, but I did try to make it so that the colors were evenly distributed around the heart.
5. Once all of your paper is on there and you like the way it's arranged, set it somewhere to dry. When mine dried, unfortunately, it bowed a little bit. If anyone has any ideas on how to keep this from happening during the drying process--tips would be much appreciated! I flattened mine afterwards under a tote full of books (I'm nothing if not resourceful).

6. Finishing: Now, my husband liked the look of my heart before I trimmed around the edges, and he would have preferred if I left it "rugged." I am, however, obsessive, and couldn't leave it alone. SO I trimmed down around the edges (just using some scissors). One of the problems that comes with working with foam core is the edges are often ragged and unsightly. To solve that problem, I glued some leftover yarn to create a border around the heart. I just used my hot glue gun and followed the edges, securing the yarn every three inches or so. I then used that yarn to create a "hanger" for the heart, and voila! Your very own door decor.

Well folks, hopefully I'll be back soon with something substantial or at the very least entertaining.
Until then, mes amis.
Love,
Katie M.

so this is the new year.

Happy New Year, one and all.

I'm not sure what it is, but the lack of Christmas decorations in my household (after I haphazardly threw them all into what probably weren't their respective boxes this morning in a fit of "being on top of it") makes it look even messier. 
Perhaps all of the shiny baubles and Christmas tree detracted from all of the clutter that pretty much is eating my house alive.
Whatever the reason, I've started this New Year off with a little bit less than optimism.
I've also decided to skip right past those pesky "winter" decorations that would be around for all of maybe half a month.
What am I doing instead, you ask??
I am putting myself full-force into Valentine's Day.

Makes no sense, really, since I pretty much hate the holiday. Someday I'll share some of my hatred-filled poetry with you from a few years ago at my low point.
But now I've got kids and making pretty valentines is fun.

For Christmas, we made the over-21 males (as responsible adults would) a six-pack of "Rein-Beers" (see pinterest for the How-To on that one--they were a big hit)...but you need about one brown pipe cleaner per beer.
And unfortunately, I could not find a pack of only brown pipe cleaners.
So I was left with about 200 pipe cleaners in assorted colors and no idea what to do with them.
Then, while messing around with them with the day care kids and my boys, I came up with this:

Super insanely easy and it used my leftovers.
Perfect. Timing.
Needless to say all afternoon I've been hailing myself as a crafty genius and patting myself on the back with alarming frequency.
Should you need a How-To on this, if you have also found yourself with an abundance of random pipe-cleaners:
1. Twist two ends of a pipe cleaner together, shape into a heart.
2. To keep them all connected, etc. wrap the second pipe cleaner around the first heart before twisting the ends together.
3. Keep going until it's as long as you want it.
4. Ta-da!!

I'm not sure how I'm going to store this during the off-season, considering it's all smushy and whatnot, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

oooooh money, money, money.

i have always been of the assumption that if i had oodles of money, i'd be a super parent/person. 

somehow this additional money would grant me more motivation to do the things i wanted to do.
 i would get up every morning to work out because all of that money would invigorate me and i would therefore need less sleep.
i would make sure i was showered and entirely put together (if i had the money to pay for fancy products for sure i'd want to use them every morning and spend an extra hour of time i could have spent sleeping applying make-up and forcing my hair to do unnatural things) before waking my children up at an early hour (7 sounds about right).
i would make my kids a healthy breakfast of eggs, wheat toast, bran muffins, fresh squeezed orange juice (we'd have a juicer i'm sure).
they would play games while i cleaned up the breakfast dishes, loaded the dishwasher and maybe perused the newspaper?
actually, i'd probably also develop a strict devotional regimen and spend time while my children were playing nicely (they'd have such educational and entertaining toys, and be so well-behaved with that added weight in our pocketbooks) getting deeper into the Word.
we'd be on time to preschool--i'd give us plenty of time to put on coats, mess around with shoes, etc. because our additional cash flow also gave me uncanny time management skills. i mean let's be honest the day would flow from there. do you catch my drift? i have had dreams and hopes of one day being rich and being able to be the person i wanted to be.


what a giant pile of steaming bullshit. 

seriously, kate?
you thought money would solve these problems?
anything to take the blame off of yourself, right?
because when you hit the snooze seven times in the morning only to hop out of bed minutes before your additional charge (the day care boy) shows up, clearly the lack of motivation was due to financial distress and not, say, staying up too late the night before.
you don't work out in the mornings because you are still mourning the loss of your y membership, and are convinced that working out at home just won't reap the same benefits (nevermind that all you ever used of the y's equipment was a treadmill).
you don't make your kids a giant health-food filled breakfast because you're just too damn lazy most of the time and let's be honest if they enjoy frosted mini-wheats and cheerios and chex--why waste your time and energy concocting something that (face it) you don't even necessarily want to eat for breakfast? having a giant kitchen filled with shiny appliances isn't going to make your desire to slave over the stove early in the morning any more real.
no amount of money on the planet could make your children behave like angels 24/7--and so therefore quiet time in the morning "while your children played" was a total fabrication of dreamland. maybe after you wiped up the spilled juice, cleaned eggs off the chair,, swept up the bread crumbs and made sure every last sippy cup was in the fridge to avoid rotten milk--maybe (just MAYBE) you'd be able to high-tail it to their bedroom to prevent the next basket of diapers from being overturned.
and let's not pretend that the added money would give you any more motivation to sit down and read the bible--now that we've shattered the idea that more money = more time/energy, i doubt you'd be picking your "alone" moments to spend with God any more than you are now.  you'd still want your "me" time which apparently involves random strangers' faux pas via facebook/autocorrect/etc or the cast of characters from any number of prime time television programs (generously provided online now, thank youuuu internet).
additional wealth is not going to turn you into a saintly constant-prayer-and-devotion type of person.
money, albeit handy, is also not going to grant you the time-management skills you so greatly lack--as evidenced by the woman who drives up in her shiny mercedes suv five minutes late to preschool every day (thank you, reality check).
you will always be late until YOU decide to make the change.



so i'm going to work on these things sans the extra money--but if you feel the need to share your burden of wealth, please feel free to contact me asap.

technology, shmechnology.

i think technology has become somewhat of a disease. your phone was the coolest thing ever way back when and all it did was talk. then we added texting. and now...well companies have created this need for the latest technology that isn't actually a necessity. it was merely a year and a half ago that i needed to have a smartphone. i got the droid incredible by htc and it was blissful devotion from day one. i jazzed it up, i changed my background every other day, i downloaded apps and played games and checked facebook. slowly, however, the appreciation for the instant satisfaction wore off, and if my phone lagged for maybe three to five seconds i was becoming frustrated. i mean, this phone was supposed to be fast, right? so why did it take five seconds to load my facebook homepage? if i accidentally left my phone at home and couldn't instantly check the weather, couldn't shazam a new song on the radio, couldn't immediately update my status to my latest emotion--i was intensely frustrated. the novelty was becoming a necessity. and quite frankly, i'm disgusted with myself. thank goodness my husband finally came to the conclusion he didn't want/need his phone anymore otherwise i'm not sure i ever would have. i feel so much more independent, so much more alive and present in the real world. so much more involved. which i know, sounds crazy. but it's true.

i'd like to know why on earth we're wasting all of this money developing phones that try to be computers when who, honestly, complained about their computers and wished they were phone sized? if i recall, computers used to be entirely stationery. so the fact that we created a laptop--a mobile computer--is a wonderful accomplishment in itself. i mean who honestly complained, "gosh i hate having this laptop around. it's so inconvenient being able to have a computer with me wherever i go." like i said, things that weren't even in our realm of consciousness have now become necessities.

a nugget to leave you with: the most mind-blowing technology to me is the camera. think about what it's doing for a minute, and the fact that we somehow made it digital on top of that. blows. my. mind.

picky, picky.

the food diaries of the murphy family: donovan was eating avocados by the time he was 10 months old. he snarfed down pretty much anything we put on his high chair tray. now liam, on the other hand, who is 18 months old and counting, refuses to eat real food. the only "adult" food he will even touch is honey nut cheerios. not regular cheerios, honey nut. even then he will pick out the broken ones and put them off to the side and only eat the whole ones. similarly, we gave him "cars" cheerios (half red frosted, half regular colored frosted) and he picked out the regular colored ones and wouldn't eat the red ones. who is this child? i mean i'm a picky eater too, but even i have a larger palette than milk, baby yogurt, and whole honey nut cheerios. he won't even eat crackers anymore. we thought we were making progress, but no matter how many times i put new foods (regular noodles, green beans, bread, rice, etc.) in front of him, he immediately sorts them off to the side. in a recent development, he has decided he enjoys french fries-so we have something to feed him when we're out to eat. i tried to sneak in some pieces of chicken in with his fries once at culvers to no avail. he picked it out immediately (i think i even saw him sneer a little at the idea). if anyone has any ideas on how to feed an impossibly picky toddler, please suggest away.

let's not forget the antics of our nearly three year old, donovan. his culinary tastes are pretty wide-spread as long as it can be dipped in either ketchup or ranch, and sometimes both. he is a very big fan of jelly sandwiches--as long as you don't mention you've put peanut butter on it. he likes peanut butter, he eats it just fine, doesn't gag, anything, but he absolutely throws a fit if he sees you put peanut butter on his sandwich. "no! i don't like that stuff! not on my sandwich! just jelly!" and if you bring him his sandwich sometimes he'll pull them apart, point to the jelly side, and say, "i just eat this side mommy." i have to remind him at least eight times that he does, in fact, like peanut butter before he'll approach it. but once he does he eats the entire thing. another thing van loves is salsa. especially the chunky tomato kind from chipotle. he sits there with his chips and little cup of salsa and eats the whole thing. sometimes he entirely forgoes the chip and just uses his hand to shovel the tomatoes into his mouth. if only we could get liam to eat that adventurously!

when liam's in kindergarten, i'll be packing rice cereal in his lunchbox. how open to mockery is that? the boy who eats baby food. i'll probably have to send a note to the cafeteria staff requesting that someone please feed it to him because he's not quite sure how a spoon works just yet. we're working on that for first grade.

oy.